I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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