the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
