So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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