put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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