...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
