the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
