I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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