he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
