just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
false alarm, still single
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
