lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
