I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
