Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Is Oprah even human
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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