You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
