I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
