Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
