Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I don't deserve a penis
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize