But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
