New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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