when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
