After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
