then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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