I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
