I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Michael Bay diarrhea
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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