just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize
