Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Randomize
