you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
