I wish I could punch you in the face.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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