508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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