apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
