This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize