he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
