My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
