Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
