we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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