i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
