these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
