I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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