During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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