I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
