I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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