I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
