Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
