with your own penis?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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