I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
