I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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