i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
