I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
