so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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