I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
