Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize