that's an acceptable place to lick
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
There was a lot of him and a little penis
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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