i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize