Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
