This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
