Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
