awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Too much gin, very little bucket
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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