I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
